10 Tips for Talking to Family about Baby-Led Weaning
Introducing solid food is an exciting milestone—and if you’ve chosen baby-led weaning, you may get questions from family, friends, and caregivers who are unfamiliar with its benefits. Our pediatric pros offer tips to make these conversations go smoothly.
1. Offer a clear explanation.
Whether you start with purees or finger food, it is safe and beneficial for babies to practice feeding themselves as soon as they are ready to start solids—and that is a novel concept for many people. You do not need to explain your choices to anyone, but if you want to get family, friends, or caregivers on board, start with a simple, direct explanation of baby-led weaning. This way, everyone is on the same page in case there are misconceptions. You might say:
“With baby-led weaning, baby practices picking up the food on their own and exploring it at their pace. We don’t put the spoon or food in baby’s mouth–we let them do it.”
2. Share what you like about baby-led weaning.
How you choose to feed baby is a personal decision, and it may be surprising to family, friends, and caregivers who are not familiar with the benefits of baby-led weaning. They may have their own understanding of “how things are done” based on their own memory of feeding children, and they may not know about the research that helped you make a thoughtful, informed decision to let baby practice feeding themselves from the start. If you feel comfortable, it can help to share your perspective—and keep it positive. For example:
“We chose baby-led weaning because it helps them learn to enjoy foods we love from the start.”
“We like how baby-led weaning lets baby practice without pressure.”
“I love how baby-led weaning meets baby where they are in their development… they are so curious and eager to explore, and it’s incredible to see them grab and munch on food.”
3. Address safety concerns with confidence.
One of the most common fears is choking, and remember: it is quite possible that your family and friends do not have access to the research that shows how baby-led weaning is safe. Thankfully, they want to protect baby just like you do, so share what you know with empathy and compassion. Here are a few approaches to try:
“I didn’t know this at first, but when I looked into the research, I learned that babies are capable of feeding themselves as soon as they’re ready to start solids, and it is safe for them to do so.”
“I had heard babies need to “graduate” from purees to finger food, but the research says otherwise: big pieces of food are not only safe, but developmentally beneficial at this stage.”
“After reviewing the research, I learned there is actually no safety benefit to purees. Who knew?! That is a big change from the guidance that used to be given!”
You might even show them a few videos like these to help reassure them that babies can handle big pieces of food safely:
Maya, 6 months old, explores a chicken drumstick.
Eunoia, 6 months old, picks up an egg strip.
Beth, 6 months old, tastes ground coconut on a mango pit.
4. Explain how the body is built to protect itself.
When you choose to let baby explore food that needs to be chewed, family or friends may ask, “Why not wait until the baby is older?” Talk about how babies learn to chew and share why it is not only safe, but developmentally beneficial for baby to practice eating finger food as soon as they are ready. For example:
“It is easier for babies to learn to chew between 6 and 8 months of age because their reflexes protect them when they make mistakes, and these reflexes are strongest during this window.”
“Babies have reflexes to help prevent choking, and they actually begin to fade around 9 months. We want baby to practice biting and chewing when their protective reflexes are strongest.”
“This way, baby can practice spitting out food, which helps them learn this important skill which they need when other items like small toys accidentally end up in their mouth.”
5. Acknowledge worries about consumption.
Family and caregivers often worry that “baby isn’t getting enough food” at mealtime, and they may feel like they need to “get in one more bite” or force spoons or food at times. It can help to meet them where they are while setting realistic expectations. You might say:
“I hear you. I was a little worried about consumption, but then I learned breast milk and formula are actually the primary source of nutrition for now. There is no need to pressure baby to eat.”
“Baby needs to practice with solid foods. Eventually, this leads to eating, but right now the focus is skill-building. Breast milk and formula are baby’s nutritional safety net during this transition.”
6. Highlight the developmental benefits.
Family, friends, and even pediatricians may think of baby-led weaning as a fad—but it’s been around for generations, and there are plenty of developmental benefits. If family and friends are curious about baby-led weaning, you might talk about the different ways it promotes oral motor and gross motor skills. For example:
“Baby-led weaning lets baby practice moving their eyes, arms, and hands to feed themselves, and it’s amazing to see how they are ready to practice these skills!”
“I want baby to learn how to chew a variety of textures, so I’m starting now. Research shows that baby-led weaning helps babies develop stronger chewing skills.”
7. Talk about the long game.
When babies are allowed to practice feeding themselves, they are learning to listen to their body by exploring more when they want more, and stopping when they are done. This skill—the ability to listen to your hunger and satiety cues—forms the foundation of healthy habits that last a lifetime. You wish for baby to grow into a happy eater, and so do your family, friends, and caregivers. If they are skeptical about how baby-led weaning achieves that goal, try gently pointing out the progress you see at mealtime. You might say:
“I love watching how baby is learning to trust their body at mealtime by making choices that feel good and nourishing to them.”
“It would be less messy if we controlled the spoon, but baby needs to learn these skills in order to feed themselves. Practice leads to eating and eventually less mess at mealtime.”
8. Tell them you’ve got this.
There are many challenges during the first year of parenthood, and navigating questions and comments from others about your parenting choices is at the top of the list. While you may feel like you are being criticized, family and friends are often eager to share thoughts because they love you and they want to help. Sometimes a little reassurance is all that is needed to calm any worries. Stay open to build trust and keep the conversation positive. Try this:
When encouraged to take a different approach:
“I really appreciate your concern, and I totally get why baby-led weaning might seem unfamiliar. Seeing it in action helped me understand how it works. Want to watch a video together?”
William, 6 months old, explores a mango pit food teether, activating his chewing reflexes and building skill.
When faced with safety questions:
“Baby’s safety is so important to me, too. We’re following baby’s cues and focusing on safety—we avoid common choking hazards and make sure baby is always sitting upright and supervised. Creating a safe eating environment is one of the most effective things that we can do to keep baby safe at mealtime.”
When confronted with worries about teeth:
“Babies actually do not need teeth to chew. The gums are powerful, and they are capable of mashing foods that are safely prepared for baby. In fact, teeth used for chewing (the molars) typically emerge well after the first birthday. The first teeth to typically emerge (the front teeth) may help baby take a bite from a large piece of food, but their gums are used to mash it.”
When baby gags:
“I know it looks scary, but gagging is a totally normal response. Baby is learning how to move food around inside the mouth, and when mistakes happen, the gag reflex protects them. My infant rescue training helped prepare me for this—and knowing when help is actually needed. It’s tempting to intervene when gagging happens, but it’s actually safer to let baby work the food out of their mouth. Sticking your fingers in their mouth can actually lead to choking.”
When baby plays with food but does not eat it:
“It’s okay. Baby is still developing the skills to eat enough solid foods to fill the belly, and it’s actually beneficial to let baby practice these skills so they can eventually eat a variety of food. Fortunately, breast milk and formula are my nutritional safety net through this transition.”
When baby spits out food:
“Spitting out food is totally normal—not a sign that baby doesn’t like it. Baby is figuring out how food works in the mouth, and the tongue naturally pushes out food out right now. Eventually that will change as baby develops better coordination of the tongue and gums.”
When baby takes a big bite:
“I know it looks too big, but baby has reflexes to protect them, and baby can figure out how manage a big bite of food, which is really important for their learning. It’s okay to give them a minute to work it out on their own.”
When baby makes a mess:
“It can be hard to watch baby make a mess, but I try to remember: exploring food lets baby get to know how it feels on their skin and in their mouth. This helps baby feel comfortable with the textures as they grow and become more opinionated in toddlerhood. Fortunately, there are foods to minimize the mess when I just can’t deal with the clean-up.”
9. Respect their wishes to do it differently.
It’s okay if family and friends want to offer purees while baby is in their care. Babies are quite capable of handling different styles of feeding, and eating purees while they are with a family member or friend will not derail your progress. In fact, it’s better for baby to have a calm and confident caregiver at the table than to try to force a caregiver to practice baby-led weaning if it makes them overly anxious or uncomfortable. To encourage your family member or friend to use responsive spoon-feeding, try this:
“I really appreciate you letting me know that you prefer to do spoon feeding while baby is with you. This is totally fine though I would like you to allow baby to reach out for the spoon and help bring it to their own mouth to keep them in charge of the pace and to keep the meal baby-led.”
10. Share resources and learn together.
Offering resources shows that your decision is informed, not impulsive, and sometimes, hearing it from an expert makes all the difference. Keep a few credible sources handy, like:
You can show them the Solid Starts App or our book, Solid Starts for Babies.
Solids Starts PRO (for your medical provider)
If your family member is open to it, you can ask for their help reviewing the research on the benefits of baby-led weaning so you can have an informed conversation together. If you plan to ask them to help feed baby, you can also share resources to help them feel comfortable and prepared to keep baby safe at mealtime. Here is a checklist to get started:
Set up a safe eating environment
Learn about gagging and choking
Take an infant rescue course
Identify safe food shapes and sizes
Know how to modify choking hazards
Learn why to introduce allergens early
Be able to spot allergic reactions
Review ways to minimize the mess
Once you feel ready to let them feed baby, you might ask them to pick a food that they want to introduce, and show them how to use the Solid Starts App to look up how to safely share it.
Written By
K. Rappaport, OTR/L, MS, SCFES, IBCLC. Pediatric Feeding/Swallowing Specialist
K. Grenawitzke, OTD, OTR/L, SCFES, IBCLC. Pediatric Feeding/Swallowing Specialist
M. Suarez, MS, OTR/L, SWC, CLEC. Pediatric Feeding/Swallowing Specialist
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